Last Tuesday I received my email all about staging. I was SO excited I nearly screamed (no like really, in the middle of my office while a meeting was being conducted- great self control hahaha). With the few, but immense amount of details given (PC sure knows how to keep you coming back for more) I finally felt the "This is it" moment. about five minutes after, I was paralyzed with anxiousness (not the good kind either) like a kid who got hit in the face too hard with a dodge ball and is trying to figure out if they want to cry, fallout or scream. I couldn't quite understand why after a year and a half of the "Peace Corps Process" I would get that one email everyone waits for and be on the verge of tears shortly after reading it... it didn't make sense. But then I realized what really comes with receiving that email. Coming to the realization that in less than 30 days you will be in a new country, with new people and desperately trying to understand and speak in a language {Albanian/Gheg} that to you sounds like a German-Hebrew language mash-up on steroids (please take no offense to those who know any of the previously mentioned languages, you guys are awesome!) Then you start thinking about missing those family events, the increase in long distance relationships with friends and family and being "on your own" for really the first time in your life *insert gasps here*. Now now, I have been away to college - where my cousin was already a student, and have been living on my own - with roommates- since graduation, so in actuality though I thought otherwise, I was never really ALONE. That thought scares the begesus out of me (is that how you spell it?). I realized that whatever comes out of this new experience will be completely dependent on me. I have no one to call in case of emergency, nor somewhere to escape when it gets to be "too much". When most come to the realization of that they would be on the next thing smoking, but I am looking forward to it. I can not WAIT for the ability to really spread my wings and start to develop into the young woman I am meant to be. To have an impact, though it be small, and to say I did that, just me will probably be one of the most rewarding things in my life. Peace Corps will not be a bed of roses - please don't get that idea - but the process of growth that occurs in those formative moments, that pressure can either turn you from a rock to dust or create a diamond... well I am prepared to be one of the most polished diamonds when I return so world - Watch out!
Despite my being a little uneasy about the unknown, I know PC will be an amazing experience and I am SO excited about it! I can not wait to meet the rest of K2 (Kosovo 2 - we will be the second group ever in country) and experience this new roller coaster with them. So as I get ready to depart I just keep reminding myself - This is just a long see you soon, not a good-bye... {thanks Sky ;) }
Countdown: T Minus 25 Days!
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