Six months ago today, I walked down the jet bridge and onto a flight that would bring me to my current destination, Kosova. I have officially been here for six months and I cant believe time has gone so quickly. It is amazing to think how different my life is now and all the events and opportunities that have occurred and still have yet to occur. Speaking of events, let me bring you up to speed on what has been occurring since my last post.
1. IST - We just had our IST (In Service Training). IST is when your group of volunteers get back together and discuss issues, successes, get new ideas and just enjoy being with your cohorts again. My favorite things about IST (besides my friends) The sauna, the shower and THE BED - Oh My Goodness, that bed made me (and my back) extremely happy. But in all seriousness it was a good reprieve from everyday life and to get some new tips of the trade etc.
2. Thanksgiving - My first Thanksgiving abroad. I co-taught with another volunteer and then we prepared a small (very small) version of thanksgiving dinner. It was nice to spend some time with her and her family, as well as getting the opportunity to test my from scratch kitchen skills (not too shabby if I do say so myself). On Saturday we went to a staff members house and had a "traditional" American Thanksgiving - Turkey (even one from Mongolia - Woo Hoo!) and trimmings included. Almost all of the volunteers got together and we all cooked (or brought) something. It was a really nice get together and having some type of American food is always a plus.
3. Winter Break - 2 weeks away and all I can do is sit in excitement. I get to see my parents after 6 months away, and it is one of the best feelings. In addition to my visit with my parents, another volunteer and I have plans to do a quick vacation, before we both see our parents. I am excited for the opportunity to visit new (and old) places and create new memories. Plus, I will forever having the pleasure of knowing I am the reason my parents FINALLY went to Europe :)
4. School - After being away for a week from "my kids" (my students) I am missing those loveable, adorable yet loud children hahaha. I can't wait to see them and get updated on all their lives (which will probably be very limited changes from I went to see my Uncle to maybe I saw my aunt this weekend - doesn't matter - still love them the same).
Between competitions and a mini snow storm and normal day to day activities Ksovo is definitely keeping me busy. Hopefully I can at least keep up with one entry a month, because even that seems to be a tad much now haha!
Shihemi (see you soon)
Sunday, December 6, 2015
Tuesday, November 3, 2015
Hajde ne Shkolle! (Come on to School!)
It has been a hectic couple of weeks here in Kosovo and they're only going to get busier (Hello holiday and idea season). All the volunteers are being productive and we are doing great things in this evolving country. I have been wanting to do a new post, and have had a variety of ideas but decided to focus on my experience thus far in the Kosovar School System.
Going into my 2nd month of school there are so many differences that I see in my local community's school than I experienced back in the states. For one the school day. In my village we only have one schedule - 40 minute classes beginning at 8:50am and ending at 1:50pm (but it is usually more like 1:45pm). Most other schools usually have a morning and an afternoon shift because there isn't enough room for all the kids to attend at the same time (each class already usually houses anywhere from 25-35 students in my experience). The schools do not have a cafeteria in them, everyone eats at home, and there is a small market close to the school for the students to grab a snack during their 15 minute break halfway through the school day. There is no front office, students, teachers, parents, all go in and out freely, without much, if any, supervision. It is a much more relaxed setup than in 'The States. I have experienced students leaving their 2nd period in order to go "have a girls day" in the nearby town, walking into an empty classroom because students decided they wanted to visit a sick friend during the school day and great future lawyers who will try to bargain with a teacher to give them a 5 (an A) and they will participate more, otherwise they won't and will take the 4 (insert side-eye). These of course are just some of the most drastic things I have dealt with. For the most part the students are similar to the U.S. - the younger they are, the more enthusiastic haha! When it comes to respect students refer to their teachers as "Teacher/Mesues/Arsimtare". You won't find a Mr. so and so or Mrs./Ms. anywhere. Anytime an adult enters the room or opens a door, or a student is picked to speak you will see young bodies standing to greet and speak. Personally, I still tell my students to sit down as soon as I get in the room - it weirds me out seeing them standing for me, almost like I am the Commander-in-Chief or something HAHA! So one random fact that was told to me by a few teachers in Kosovo, they think the USA has 52 states, like the books even say so (insert big eyed emoji here) so I spent one free period going through my geography teachers book in my school to see if I could help if there were any "typos" which I didn't find - yet. When it comes to English, a lot of students \have difficulty because of the teaching style, so I and my counterpart have taken a different approach to what the norm was for our students. As of right now, Jeopardy is a HUGHE hit and so is Pictionary. My biggest struggle is that after school all students just go home. There aren't any after school programs in my village for them to continue to foster their relationships and grow new skill sets etc.
The school system here, in my village, we do not have starter schools (think Pre-K and Nursery). The students start at Kindergarten or 1st grade, and stay with the same group of students their entire primary career (for example whoever is in your homeroom is who you have every class with for the next 10 years in that school). Also, students do not change classrooms, teachers do - so much for worrying about classroom decorations ha!. Also there aren't any Special education, honors or advanced classes in the Primary school. This was something that showed me just how hard it is to be a teacher here because if you are a student here you can easily be left behind or bored if you have a learning issue or get bored in class because the coursework is too easy. Working with multi-level classrooms is very interesting and stressful at the same time and you often wonder how much students really understand and retain throughout the day.
I would love to continue this post but that is all I can think of for now, it is late in Kosovo and I have a full day at work tomorrow, until next time Naten e Mire!
Going into my 2nd month of school there are so many differences that I see in my local community's school than I experienced back in the states. For one the school day. In my village we only have one schedule - 40 minute classes beginning at 8:50am and ending at 1:50pm (but it is usually more like 1:45pm). Most other schools usually have a morning and an afternoon shift because there isn't enough room for all the kids to attend at the same time (each class already usually houses anywhere from 25-35 students in my experience). The schools do not have a cafeteria in them, everyone eats at home, and there is a small market close to the school for the students to grab a snack during their 15 minute break halfway through the school day. There is no front office, students, teachers, parents, all go in and out freely, without much, if any, supervision. It is a much more relaxed setup than in 'The States. I have experienced students leaving their 2nd period in order to go "have a girls day" in the nearby town, walking into an empty classroom because students decided they wanted to visit a sick friend during the school day and great future lawyers who will try to bargain with a teacher to give them a 5 (an A) and they will participate more, otherwise they won't and will take the 4 (insert side-eye). These of course are just some of the most drastic things I have dealt with. For the most part the students are similar to the U.S. - the younger they are, the more enthusiastic haha! When it comes to respect students refer to their teachers as "Teacher/Mesues/Arsimtare". You won't find a Mr. so and so or Mrs./Ms. anywhere. Anytime an adult enters the room or opens a door, or a student is picked to speak you will see young bodies standing to greet and speak. Personally, I still tell my students to sit down as soon as I get in the room - it weirds me out seeing them standing for me, almost like I am the Commander-in-Chief or something HAHA! So one random fact that was told to me by a few teachers in Kosovo, they think the USA has 52 states, like the books even say so (insert big eyed emoji here) so I spent one free period going through my geography teachers book in my school to see if I could help if there were any "typos" which I didn't find - yet. When it comes to English, a lot of students \have difficulty because of the teaching style, so I and my counterpart have taken a different approach to what the norm was for our students. As of right now, Jeopardy is a HUGHE hit and so is Pictionary. My biggest struggle is that after school all students just go home. There aren't any after school programs in my village for them to continue to foster their relationships and grow new skill sets etc.
The school system here, in my village, we do not have starter schools (think Pre-K and Nursery). The students start at Kindergarten or 1st grade, and stay with the same group of students their entire primary career (for example whoever is in your homeroom is who you have every class with for the next 10 years in that school). Also, students do not change classrooms, teachers do - so much for worrying about classroom decorations ha!. Also there aren't any Special education, honors or advanced classes in the Primary school. This was something that showed me just how hard it is to be a teacher here because if you are a student here you can easily be left behind or bored if you have a learning issue or get bored in class because the coursework is too easy. Working with multi-level classrooms is very interesting and stressful at the same time and you often wonder how much students really understand and retain throughout the day.
I would love to continue this post but that is all I can think of for now, it is late in Kosovo and I have a full day at work tomorrow, until next time Naten e Mire!
Wednesday, September 30, 2015
25 Silver Linings
The BIG 25. The quarter century club. I can't believe my 25th birthday is days away and I get to celebrate a birthday abroad (check that off the bucket list). I have a variety of feelings with the upcoming year change and most of them have caused me to say Oh Crap! So in honor of 25 here are 25 things I have learned, appreciated, accepted or am growing into...
1. Having a relationship with God is vital for me. I appreciate the peace that comes with knowing everything in my life has been ordained and that even in the loneliest of times there is someone looking out for me.
2. Travel is everything to me. It's my high. I want to travel as much as I can, as far as I can and meet amazing people along the way.
3. Family. The second most important thing to me. It's sort of ridiculous how much I love my family (even the ones I call auntie, sister, uncle or cousin with no blood tie- but blood couldn't bring us closer: cliché I know), even when they drive me bonkers. But they are my saving grace and without them and God, who knows where I'd be. The tears are actually welling up just thinking about them and how much I miss them... Next point.
4. Seasons. My 24th year of life started with a lot of pain and confusion. Now With 25 creeping around the corner I am at one of the most care free points I have been in my life and I am happy. I see the beauty in everything. And I love seeing myself grow. That's not to say every moment has a rainbow and a pot of gold at the end But I am enjoying where I am at. With life comes changing seasons and sometimes it hurts, helps, and sometimes they make you the happiest or most confused you've ever been, and other times you're just content. What I am learning is to find the good in every season. Growth and change are the only continuous things in life.
5. My hair... Yes my hair. growing up I was always insecure about my hair- it wasn't straight enough, long enough, cute enough whatever. And then in college I cut it off and went natural. Problem solved right? Wrong. But I have grown to love my hair and every kink and coil that says I will not be tamed. In embracing my hair I have in a way truly embraced me. With Good and bad hair days me and my "curly" 'fro are happy learning about "ourselves" together.
6. Walking. Walking, especially here in Kosovo has given me the ability to really clear and free my mind. It's at these times when it's just me the road and my music I feel happy and see the most beauty. I smile for no reason. I think about random memories and laugh at myself. Walking allows me to enjoy myself and be at Peace with God, myself and Mother Earth.
7. Exercise is important *drops mic* (picks it back up & places on the stand because I am not always consistent HA!)
8. I am a FOODIE! (Self proclaimed of course) my favorite phrase among friends is "Ashley (or I) will travel for food" for example last year for my birthday I went to Philly. To see my best friend and EAT. I am still planning a trip back and now food has an important place in travel plans (I still cant wait to get back to the US and do a brunch with my ladies, 23 months and counting hahaha!)
9. Love your sisters. I do mean biological, but HERE I am referring to that close group of girls who know your every secret. I think your best friends are your real soulmates - the ones that really don't leave and have seen you in every state and still decide to love and accept you undeniably. I am blessed to have a few and they mean the world to mean. I cheer and brag their every accomplishment because their win is my win. I know that if any of us stumble, together we can get up and get back our stride that much faster.
10. Perspective is relative. I see so many Of my peers doing amazing things and I applaud them all but I also realize (and have to be reminded) that all stories aren't the same and how I define success is different from someone else so stay in your own perspective lane and enjoy the blessings that come to you.
11. Travel solo. Something I have yet to do but something I definitely will THIS year. I want to see something purely. Without someone else's opinion influencing me. Plus it's easier with a party of one- you can do what you want.
12. Find your style. Rather it's hair bows, pantsuits or full face makeup all day, err'day. Finding and expressing your uniqueness is the best thing you can do to not only make yourself feel comfortable but to expose the world to "something new".
13. Identify your passion: as someone currently In pursuit of their purpose, I know that it will definitely have something to do with my passion. So if you know your passion you will walk into your purpose that way.
14. Know yourself. Knowing yourself and your likes dislikes, what makes you tick is of the upmost importance. And be true to you unapologetically.
15. Go against the grain. If you have something you've been wanting to do and are afraid because of others comments or lack of support, Do it. You have to live with yourself and your choices- regret included. I would rather live knowing I did something I wanted to and it taught me a lesson rather than living life without that lesson and growth.
16. Love. "It's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all". I have always believed this statement and its truth. If you have never loved then you don't know selflessness. You don't know God. For to love is to be selfless and forgiving, to be respectful and giving. So love and love hard, but love with discernment because you don't want to give your "good loving" to an undeserving party.
17. Learn. Rather it's reading books and articles, or from talking with people. You should always be learning, constantly using your mind, because a mind is a terrible thing to waste.
18. Try something new. Rather it is once a year, month or week. Try something new. That new restaurant, go hiking, learn to ride a bike. Whatever "it" is. Do it. You may surprise yourself and like it (gasp) lol
19. Enjoy time alone. If you can't be alone and find solace start learning.
20. Read more. Articles books read mind stimulating information.
21. Treat yo'self. Not everytime but once in a while. Treat yourself to that purse, or buy that dress you've been eyeing for months.
22. Know how to cook. Basic but many don't know which is tragic. Have some special dishes up your sleeve and know how to properly cook meat (no one wants food poisoning).
23. Be open. Experiences. People (something I am still working on) just be open with experiencing life.
24. Have an outlet. Rather it is writing or screaming dancing walking. Have an outlet that allows you to de-stress.
25. Enjoy every moment of your life. You only get one and it won't be perfect but see the good, grow from the less pleasing moments and always wear a smile. It will change someone's day and give you so much happiness. So remember smile with your liver, smile with your face and smile with your heart. (I got that from Eat, Pray, Love - gotta Love Julia HA!)
Monday, September 21, 2015
Eurocreme*
*DISCLAIMER* These views are MY OWN, as I have experienced them personally and am sharing my perspectives and experiences.
I have written a whole post and realized I needed to start over. When I write my blog I usually just let it flow, but I really want this to come out the right way and to be a point of conversation - if you feel it necessary - and to just enlighten. So let me begin again by starting with this. I love being a Black Woman. (yup, we are going "There" in this post, so if you are (already) uncomfortable you can "leave" here.... {Buh-bye stop by my next post though ;) }
For those that stayed, Thank you!
When I applied and accepted my invitation for the Peace Corps I knew that my ethnicity would be an "issue" or topic of discussion. However I did not realize that it would make me feel as if my entire service is a direct result of it. My first evening in country I was called a Nigger. Yup, just like that. Actually no, what exactly was said to me was "I love Nigger". I had prepped myself that the possibility may occur but not on my first evening in country. When I heard the statement, I didn't hear the "I love" phrase said to me, I heard NIGGER! I literally stopped in my tracks and it felt like every one of my ancestors who live within me cried out from the pain and humiliation they endured to progress for me. I then felt like someone punched me in the face with brass knuckles. My heart literally ached, my mind was racing everywhere, what had I done, I was walking down the street laughing with friends, did I offend someone, was it because they said it "for fun", was it a source of entertainment? This plus other things (insert mental flashes - literally- of Mammy, blackface and jezebel images going through my mind) tormented me everytime I was in that city, and still do. Knowing that I am fair game to be talked and gossiped about, seen as a circus animal or source of entertainment and to just be talked about, makes me want to crawl into a little hole for the next two years at times. Add on the fact that I have natural hair which provides people even more "excuses" to point and laugh and talk about me, its just like Oh, great! Even in family settings I have been talked about by host family members who sat directly next to me laughing, whispering and pointing to my face, my hair, ME. Sounds about maddening doesn't it. To deal with this, along with stares, being followed in stores and every time you go somewhere. That people feel it necessary, and don't see a problem with, yelling things at me and making noises as I walk down the street. So why? Why deal with such things. Well for one, despite how uncomfortable I may feel, I may in some small way be breaking down a barrier(s). I expose people to something other than themselves. I get to teach about my history as a Black-American and my experience (that's a new thing considering we live in a post-racial society and no one thinks we have a race problem.. OK). People want to know EVERYTHING, and they don't always know what we consider "basic knowledge". For example, I taught my host cousin about Nelson Mandela. THE Nelson Mandela, she had never heard of him. We watched a movie on him and I gave background, and at the end was told, this was one of the best movies ever seen, that he was a great man. BREAKTHROUGH. I get to show the cultural diversity within America, that no I don't have to be from Africa to be black. I also get to see the effects of my culture abroad. I get to experience and see first hand perceptions that are held by the outside consumers of American culture.
It is interesting how many in Kosovo pride themselves on the fact that Kosovo is so inclusive and enjoys a multi-ethnic, multi-religious society. Yet I have some of the same experiences as Roma or darker men, women and children in Kosovo. We are marginalized, and though I am an American and that does have some benefit, I do not get the same respect as my fellow volunteers because of my skin. For example during a discussion with a Host country national I was told I was never called the "N" word here and must have been mistaken because Americans are held in high-esteem in Kosovo. That I was never followed in a store because someone thought I was going to steal something, they were just curious, however I was with 7 other Americans and none of them were followed or had anyone "tend" to them while shopping. Racism is still alive and well in Europe and many other places around the world. People just believe, because they have very homogenized societies, that they are inclusive and accepting because of "religious tolerance" which still isn't true because you are separated into communities, areas and those who are marginalized do their best to "stay away" from the majority of society. How people think it is a problem when you, a stranger, walks up to me asking to take a picture (if they even ask) and get an attitude when I respond "No." My blackness does not provide you the opportunity to treat me like your local circus attraction. My blackness doesn't mean that I am any less intelligent or mentally capable to understand and do things. My blackness DOES allow for me to be a strong, motivated, giving and appreciative human being who is aware of the disparities in the world to those with more melanin and say, I want to do something that facilitates awareness and promotes diversity in the face of all the negativity and ignorance that will be a reaction to my action. I want to be here, and I want to share my stories, facilitate cultural exchange, but sometimes people here make it really hard! But at the end of the day, just my presence makes a difference. I am so lucky for that. So I will continue to walk with my kinky hair, melanin-on-fleek (I said it), one of the tallest people on the street head held high, and allow just my presence to be a change agent. I hope there comes a point when people will understand that its rude and ignorant to treat people as a side show attraction, but if not, I will be here to help with the process because the only thing more constant than change, is change!
*Eurocreme is one of the many terms used to describe someone of color: Eurocreme is the chocolate filling put in a croissant by the way.
I have written a whole post and realized I needed to start over. When I write my blog I usually just let it flow, but I really want this to come out the right way and to be a point of conversation - if you feel it necessary - and to just enlighten. So let me begin again by starting with this. I love being a Black Woman. (yup, we are going "There" in this post, so if you are (already) uncomfortable you can "leave" here.... {Buh-bye stop by my next post though ;) }
For those that stayed, Thank you!
When I applied and accepted my invitation for the Peace Corps I knew that my ethnicity would be an "issue" or topic of discussion. However I did not realize that it would make me feel as if my entire service is a direct result of it. My first evening in country I was called a Nigger. Yup, just like that. Actually no, what exactly was said to me was "I love Nigger". I had prepped myself that the possibility may occur but not on my first evening in country. When I heard the statement, I didn't hear the "I love" phrase said to me, I heard NIGGER! I literally stopped in my tracks and it felt like every one of my ancestors who live within me cried out from the pain and humiliation they endured to progress for me. I then felt like someone punched me in the face with brass knuckles. My heart literally ached, my mind was racing everywhere, what had I done, I was walking down the street laughing with friends, did I offend someone, was it because they said it "for fun", was it a source of entertainment? This plus other things (insert mental flashes - literally- of Mammy, blackface and jezebel images going through my mind) tormented me everytime I was in that city, and still do. Knowing that I am fair game to be talked and gossiped about, seen as a circus animal or source of entertainment and to just be talked about, makes me want to crawl into a little hole for the next two years at times. Add on the fact that I have natural hair which provides people even more "excuses" to point and laugh and talk about me, its just like Oh, great! Even in family settings I have been talked about by host family members who sat directly next to me laughing, whispering and pointing to my face, my hair, ME. Sounds about maddening doesn't it. To deal with this, along with stares, being followed in stores and every time you go somewhere. That people feel it necessary, and don't see a problem with, yelling things at me and making noises as I walk down the street. So why? Why deal with such things. Well for one, despite how uncomfortable I may feel, I may in some small way be breaking down a barrier(s). I expose people to something other than themselves. I get to teach about my history as a Black-American and my experience (that's a new thing considering we live in a post-racial society and no one thinks we have a race problem.. OK). People want to know EVERYTHING, and they don't always know what we consider "basic knowledge". For example, I taught my host cousin about Nelson Mandela. THE Nelson Mandela, she had never heard of him. We watched a movie on him and I gave background, and at the end was told, this was one of the best movies ever seen, that he was a great man. BREAKTHROUGH. I get to show the cultural diversity within America, that no I don't have to be from Africa to be black. I also get to see the effects of my culture abroad. I get to experience and see first hand perceptions that are held by the outside consumers of American culture.
It is interesting how many in Kosovo pride themselves on the fact that Kosovo is so inclusive and enjoys a multi-ethnic, multi-religious society. Yet I have some of the same experiences as Roma or darker men, women and children in Kosovo. We are marginalized, and though I am an American and that does have some benefit, I do not get the same respect as my fellow volunteers because of my skin. For example during a discussion with a Host country national I was told I was never called the "N" word here and must have been mistaken because Americans are held in high-esteem in Kosovo. That I was never followed in a store because someone thought I was going to steal something, they were just curious, however I was with 7 other Americans and none of them were followed or had anyone "tend" to them while shopping. Racism is still alive and well in Europe and many other places around the world. People just believe, because they have very homogenized societies, that they are inclusive and accepting because of "religious tolerance" which still isn't true because you are separated into communities, areas and those who are marginalized do their best to "stay away" from the majority of society. How people think it is a problem when you, a stranger, walks up to me asking to take a picture (if they even ask) and get an attitude when I respond "No." My blackness does not provide you the opportunity to treat me like your local circus attraction. My blackness doesn't mean that I am any less intelligent or mentally capable to understand and do things. My blackness DOES allow for me to be a strong, motivated, giving and appreciative human being who is aware of the disparities in the world to those with more melanin and say, I want to do something that facilitates awareness and promotes diversity in the face of all the negativity and ignorance that will be a reaction to my action. I want to be here, and I want to share my stories, facilitate cultural exchange, but sometimes people here make it really hard! But at the end of the day, just my presence makes a difference. I am so lucky for that. So I will continue to walk with my kinky hair, melanin-on-fleek (I said it), one of the tallest people on the street head held high, and allow just my presence to be a change agent. I hope there comes a point when people will understand that its rude and ignorant to treat people as a side show attraction, but if not, I will be here to help with the process because the only thing more constant than change, is change!
*Eurocreme is one of the many terms used to describe someone of color: Eurocreme is the chocolate filling put in a croissant by the way.
Thursday, September 17, 2015
But Why Travel?...
Almost a month at site, I can not believe it! I have a few things on my mind/heart to blog about but I will start with this one and hopefully get to the others at sometime this week.
(Oh and make sure you click on the hyperlinks, I think you will gain more understanding)
When I was preparing to start my Peace Corps Service and still back in the US, one of the most common questions I would receive was "Why can't you stay in the states and do the same thing?" It seemed to me that everyone was scared for me to be abroad, or just lacked the understanding of why I had to do this MY way. Most suggested I just stay in the US and do AmeriCorps, now this isn't to discredit AmeriCorps in anyway, but why stay in my comfort zone; why should I stifle myself and my ambitions to suit the "needs" or wants of others? I've been quiet independent and have always been slightly "against the grain", so going abroad just made sense personally. I say that to get to this point. When I came to Kosovo there were many things I was naïve towards and travel was one of them. I know you are asking how can one be naïve to traveling, but here is how. Kosovo is the newest state in Europe, the second newest country in the world! The route to independence for this tiny country (approximately the size of Delaware - if I previously said Connecticut that's traveling size via public transport) has been very rocky and filled with controversy and a political tug of war. Though many have recognized Kosovo's sovereignty, many states have not (cue in Russia and Serbia, to name two, hence the tug of war) and that has created a sort of dichotomy for Kosovo. It is basically a semi state. In terms of passport acceptance it is limited to the surrounding area essentially (Montenegro, Macedonia, Serbia and Good Ol' Albania {cues Kuq e Zi}). Traveling to western nations such as Germany, Switzerland or even the US is extremely difficult and visas are hard to come by. So here I am a lucky American Girl who has the world as her oyster and can travel at will, yet the majority of people I have talked to here haven't even traveled around within country, yet alone TRY to travel internationally. ( you can gasp now). I know way too many people who are American and refuse to leave their little state and it annoys me to the moon and back. Now I am in Kosovo and people only dream of going to visit a loved one in Germany or even Italy but because of visas and other barriers (you need to have a job - hard with 30% unemployment- be in school, have a sponsor - I think - amongst other qualifications) can not and that American is back home just squandering their opportunity and talking about their "always bored" (side eye emoji here). They wont even leave their immediate surrounding area and see what else their own STATE has to offer - talk about laziness at its finest (yup I said it!) It is amazing to see that so many host country nationals haven't even been to some of the places I have been to in Kosovo (there are only about 6 major cities in the whole country, and none take more than 4 hours by bus from ANYWHERE in the country) and its cheap (by American standards), approximately 2-5 euros each way to get their via public transport. In Kosovo that is a possibly taxing amount of money to pay for a day trip due to the fact that many families, which usually consist of 5+ people, only have one source of income and that may be as low as 400 euros a month! If it isn't within probably a 20 minute drive, many haven't been, and don't get me started on not even leaving for school! So I treasure even the opportunity to travel within this country because so many do not have the opportunity to do even that! Being here has opened my eyes to so much and I am immensely appreciative for all that I do have, because someone else doesn't have it and dreams of the days and the times when they possibly will.
So yes, before coming to Kosovo I was very naïve, naïve about many things, but being here has broadened my horizons to just how fortunate I am to be an American. Not to say America is in anyway perfect or the best, but when I look at that ever growing list of places to go and I don't have to second guess being able to visit, for that I will forever be grateful. Children don't get to choose their lifestyle, but they can choose their path, and expanding the minds of children here to the opportunities that ARE afforded to them is a blessing in itself... So until my next rant-oops blog.. Appreciate it all, and embrace even the bad because your bad is someone else's daydream...
So travel far now ya' hear!
- Ashley
(Oh and make sure you click on the hyperlinks, I think you will gain more understanding)
When I was preparing to start my Peace Corps Service and still back in the US, one of the most common questions I would receive was "Why can't you stay in the states and do the same thing?" It seemed to me that everyone was scared for me to be abroad, or just lacked the understanding of why I had to do this MY way. Most suggested I just stay in the US and do AmeriCorps, now this isn't to discredit AmeriCorps in anyway, but why stay in my comfort zone; why should I stifle myself and my ambitions to suit the "needs" or wants of others? I've been quiet independent and have always been slightly "against the grain", so going abroad just made sense personally. I say that to get to this point. When I came to Kosovo there were many things I was naïve towards and travel was one of them. I know you are asking how can one be naïve to traveling, but here is how. Kosovo is the newest state in Europe, the second newest country in the world! The route to independence for this tiny country (approximately the size of Delaware - if I previously said Connecticut that's traveling size via public transport) has been very rocky and filled with controversy and a political tug of war. Though many have recognized Kosovo's sovereignty, many states have not (cue in Russia and Serbia, to name two, hence the tug of war) and that has created a sort of dichotomy for Kosovo. It is basically a semi state. In terms of passport acceptance it is limited to the surrounding area essentially (Montenegro, Macedonia, Serbia and Good Ol' Albania {cues Kuq e Zi}). Traveling to western nations such as Germany, Switzerland or even the US is extremely difficult and visas are hard to come by. So here I am a lucky American Girl who has the world as her oyster and can travel at will, yet the majority of people I have talked to here haven't even traveled around within country, yet alone TRY to travel internationally. ( you can gasp now). I know way too many people who are American and refuse to leave their little state and it annoys me to the moon and back. Now I am in Kosovo and people only dream of going to visit a loved one in Germany or even Italy but because of visas and other barriers (you need to have a job - hard with 30% unemployment- be in school, have a sponsor - I think - amongst other qualifications) can not and that American is back home just squandering their opportunity and talking about their "always bored" (side eye emoji here). They wont even leave their immediate surrounding area and see what else their own STATE has to offer - talk about laziness at its finest (yup I said it!) It is amazing to see that so many host country nationals haven't even been to some of the places I have been to in Kosovo (there are only about 6 major cities in the whole country, and none take more than 4 hours by bus from ANYWHERE in the country) and its cheap (by American standards), approximately 2-5 euros each way to get their via public transport. In Kosovo that is a possibly taxing amount of money to pay for a day trip due to the fact that many families, which usually consist of 5+ people, only have one source of income and that may be as low as 400 euros a month! If it isn't within probably a 20 minute drive, many haven't been, and don't get me started on not even leaving for school! So I treasure even the opportunity to travel within this country because so many do not have the opportunity to do even that! Being here has opened my eyes to so much and I am immensely appreciative for all that I do have, because someone else doesn't have it and dreams of the days and the times when they possibly will.
So yes, before coming to Kosovo I was very naïve, naïve about many things, but being here has broadened my horizons to just how fortunate I am to be an American. Not to say America is in anyway perfect or the best, but when I look at that ever growing list of places to go and I don't have to second guess being able to visit, for that I will forever be grateful. Children don't get to choose their lifestyle, but they can choose their path, and expanding the minds of children here to the opportunities that ARE afforded to them is a blessing in itself... So until my next rant-oops blog.. Appreciate it all, and embrace even the bad because your bad is someone else's daydream...
So travel far now ya' hear!
- Ashley
Wednesday, August 26, 2015
Urime! I'm a Volunteer!
Urime (congratulations) to me and my fellow volunteers! On Saturday, August 22 myself, along with 35 other passionate individuals became the latest group to swear-in as Peace Corps Volunteers, and the SECOND generation of volunteers in the country EVER! The whole day of swearing-in was a HUGE whirlwind. I got about around 5, we had to be at the xhamija (mosque) by 6 to catch the bus tt Prishtina. My host mom made me some coffee and insisted that I "haida, ulu, pi pi" (come here, sit down, drink drink) though I was running shume vone (very late)! I managed to take a couple sips while she awoke my host siblings so they could say their goodbyes to me and I could get dropped off. My host sister (who I am closest to) dropped me and my two, 51+ lbs of luggage (EACH) off along with her younger brother. Saying goodbye to them I thought would be the hardest thing but I took it like a champ and didn't cry (though every emotion in me wanted to - I did shed a couple tears seeing my host parents the last time on the bus though after the ceremony :/ ). We were whisked away to pick up the other volunteers and headed to Prishtina to get a debrief of the ceremony and congrats from various members of the Peace Corps staff, in addition to taking a PLETHORA of pictures and selfies. The ceremony itself wasn't too long, and was attended by PC Staff, Madame President Jajahga and several Ministers, as well as our irreplaceable family members from PST. The ceremony and reception were extremely quick and next thing I knew I was whisked to the bus station promptly after to begin my new life over 3 hours away in another part of the country.
It is so unbelievable to think this is my life now. That of a city girl that's become a "country girl" who is teaching abroad and immersed in a new culture with new people! Peace Corps they say will be the "toughest job you'll ever love" and is very unique. Well I am excited to love my new position teaching students English and all the experiences that are to ensue. We have volunteers spread out around Kosova and in everything from cities to rural villages. It will be a different experience for all of us, and we will have those hard days, but we will also have those moments of triumph and THAT is what matters most. As long as you find the good in everyday, no matter how hard, you're doing something right. So I will enjoy my "relaxation and sometimes boredom" of this week as I await the start of my first school year in Kosovo. Cheers and Good Luck to the official start of my two years in Kosovo, may it be filled with growth, love and smiles galore! GEZUAR!!
Language Group aka H-Town Crew
My LCFs and I
PCV Wendy and I with our PST Families
Madame President and I with my host mom
Host Prinderit!
My new host family picked me up from the bus station and I was very excited to see them, though the bus ride wasn't too long, sitting there looking at the change in landscape and thinking of the family and friends I was "leaving behind" (that's how it really feels) was really toying with my emotions and I needed a good break from it. When you join PC knowing you have two host families (at least you do when you serve in Kosovo) you don't think about the emotional and sometimes spiritual connections you make with these families. These families take in a complete stranger, spend two months with them, introducing them to culture, people, traditions and next thing you know those months have passed and that woman you awkwardly greeted in your first interaction, trying to figure out what you should call her, has become a second mother to you and you couldn't imagine your life without her or the family. I am so grateful for the inclusive and mutually excited family I have now come to join in a quaint village in northern Kosovo. My new host family consists of My host parents, a 14 year old sister and 17 year old brother. My host parents are very nice, love to laugh and make jokes and are so eager to get to know ME. My host siblings are your typical teenagers, he is obsessed with computer games, his phone and soccer, she loves Youtube, all things girly and Fashion. Oh and did I mention almost everyone speaks English (VERY uncommon here in Kosovo)! I have a huge extended family as my host father is one of 7 and a few of the family members live all within a 5 minute walk (if that far). The others are part of the Diaspora and live in Western European countries. OH! and lets not forget Gjyshi and Gjyshia who live next door... (that's Grandpa and Grandma for you English speakers ;)
My new village is extremely quaint and small. I would estimate about 500 families live here and it consists of a mosque, two markets - one on either end of the village) and a school which is close to where I live. I truly am living the rural life, there are no street lights so when its dark... its DARK - like back of your eyelids with the lights off dark, and its EXTREMELY beautiful and picturesque. In the mornings I love to sit on the porch and just look out at the hills and the mountains with the varying heights and colors all around... Its so beautiful and quiet, which means winter will be HARD (but we will deal with that and the post that is SURE to ensue from the winter weather later)!
View of the mountains from my walk
Some homes in my village
View of the sunset and the Mosque millet from my porch
Another view of rolling hills on my walk
Even the clouds make it beautiful (I have high altitude - look how low the clouds are!)
It is so unbelievable to think this is my life now. That of a city girl that's become a "country girl" who is teaching abroad and immersed in a new culture with new people! Peace Corps they say will be the "toughest job you'll ever love" and is very unique. Well I am excited to love my new position teaching students English and all the experiences that are to ensue. We have volunteers spread out around Kosova and in everything from cities to rural villages. It will be a different experience for all of us, and we will have those hard days, but we will also have those moments of triumph and THAT is what matters most. As long as you find the good in everyday, no matter how hard, you're doing something right. So I will enjoy my "relaxation and sometimes boredom" of this week as I await the start of my first school year in Kosovo. Cheers and Good Luck to the official start of my two years in Kosovo, may it be filled with growth, love and smiles galore! GEZUAR!!
View from my kitchen window ;)
Wednesday, August 5, 2015
Music, Honking and Kanagjegj things...
It is Wedding Season in Kosova!
Unlike American Wedding season, there is SO much going on in Kosovo during wedding season, and the sights, LOTS of sounds and knowledge of what's going on makes it also that much more exciting. So lets start with a rundown from Proposal to walking down that aisle of what I know and have seen thus far.
Engagement.
When a woman or man becomes engaged it is ALWAYS a reason to celebrate. It is the introduction to a new life chapter, and a time for growth and the coming of new things. Kosovar tradition calls for late night fireworks at the house, celebratory gunshots and further letting the neighbors know your good news by blasting music into the wee hours of the night. The grooms family then starts preparing for the arrival of the bride (nuse) by buying her beautiful dresses and clothing to have upon arrival.
Bachelorette Party
Kanagjegj - the Albanian word for what would be deemed the bachelorette party in the US. I recently attended a Kanagjegj for my host mothers niece and it is a very interesting celebration. It is primarily for the bride's family to celebrate her, to see what her future husband has done for her and to say good-bye before the big day. Everyone gets dressed up, just as they would for the wedding. The celebration is usually held at a smaller restaurant and family files in as they please. Once most attendees arrive, the music gets turned up louder and the infamous (what I am dubbing) Albanian circle dance - begins. It is when you do different steps rhythmically while "dancing" in a circle holding hands. During Kanagjegj there is about 7-10 outfit changes by the bride to be and each outfit more fabulous than the last. During one of the dances the groom will show up and they may dance together quickly. During this time various family members will give money to the bride and the Bridegroom as gifts for them. The bride usually starts out with the traditional outfits and works her way up to a red dress that she does the Henna ceremony in. The Henna ceremony is where the bride dips her 5 fingers in henna and leaves an imprint on paper for her mother to remember her by while family members sing songs about missing her, and jokingly "bashing" the groom's family for taking her away from them. During this part of the ceremony, is when the bride is allowed to "grieve" briefly for her family and her past life before looking forward and celebrating her new beginning.
After Kanagjegj there is another celebration where the family celebrates the wedding and the bride's family prepares to take her to her future house with her husband and his family. There is lots of music, family and friends and they all line up in cars like a motorcade with Albanian and Kosovar flags. When it is time to take the bride to the house they file out one by one and beep their horns almost all the way to the grooms house. The bride's car is usually covered in red and white ribbons and other decorations which makes the car look like a present with boos and trimmings attached (fitting huh?). During this drive she is typically dolled up looking her best in a beautiful gown.
Wedding Day!
I have not attended an actual wedding yet but form what I am told it is a BIG to do. Weddings are usually held during the week, on a Tuesday or Wednesday evening and is at a big restaurant. It lasts for hours with dancing and eating prevalent throughout the night. Family, including those of the diaspora*, and friends come from near and far to celebrate the new start of the family. To let people know the wedding is coming the family will continuously play music at the house from 3 days before the wedding to three days after the wedding (Music is a big celebratory thing here). During the reception, the couple dances to the traditional wedding song and the dancing goes on for hours.
Wedding season is an amazing and busy time in Kosovo that can not be fully described but really should just be experienced. With so many weddings occurring every week you are bound to be invited to no LESS than one a summer (and that's being generous in the minimum). Here are some photos from the Kanagjegj I attended with my host sister, brother and host Mother!
Happy Wedding Season!
____________________________________________________________________________________
*Diaspora refers to the family members who are abroad but are Kosovar Albanian. After the conflict/war in the 90's many left in search of safe havens and work in countries such as Switzerland, Germany, Belgium, Canada and the U.S. They typically return to visit family in July-August, during wedding season, and help bolster the Kosovar economy with an influx of money during this time. They also support relatives in country throughout the year with allowances etc.
Unlike American Wedding season, there is SO much going on in Kosovo during wedding season, and the sights, LOTS of sounds and knowledge of what's going on makes it also that much more exciting. So lets start with a rundown from Proposal to walking down that aisle of what I know and have seen thus far.
Engagement.
When a woman or man becomes engaged it is ALWAYS a reason to celebrate. It is the introduction to a new life chapter, and a time for growth and the coming of new things. Kosovar tradition calls for late night fireworks at the house, celebratory gunshots and further letting the neighbors know your good news by blasting music into the wee hours of the night. The grooms family then starts preparing for the arrival of the bride (nuse) by buying her beautiful dresses and clothing to have upon arrival.
Bachelorette Party
Kanagjegj - the Albanian word for what would be deemed the bachelorette party in the US. I recently attended a Kanagjegj for my host mothers niece and it is a very interesting celebration. It is primarily for the bride's family to celebrate her, to see what her future husband has done for her and to say good-bye before the big day. Everyone gets dressed up, just as they would for the wedding. The celebration is usually held at a smaller restaurant and family files in as they please. Once most attendees arrive, the music gets turned up louder and the infamous (what I am dubbing) Albanian circle dance - begins. It is when you do different steps rhythmically while "dancing" in a circle holding hands. During Kanagjegj there is about 7-10 outfit changes by the bride to be and each outfit more fabulous than the last. During one of the dances the groom will show up and they may dance together quickly. During this time various family members will give money to the bride and the Bridegroom as gifts for them. The bride usually starts out with the traditional outfits and works her way up to a red dress that she does the Henna ceremony in. The Henna ceremony is where the bride dips her 5 fingers in henna and leaves an imprint on paper for her mother to remember her by while family members sing songs about missing her, and jokingly "bashing" the groom's family for taking her away from them. During this part of the ceremony, is when the bride is allowed to "grieve" briefly for her family and her past life before looking forward and celebrating her new beginning.
After Kanagjegj there is another celebration where the family celebrates the wedding and the bride's family prepares to take her to her future house with her husband and his family. There is lots of music, family and friends and they all line up in cars like a motorcade with Albanian and Kosovar flags. When it is time to take the bride to the house they file out one by one and beep their horns almost all the way to the grooms house. The bride's car is usually covered in red and white ribbons and other decorations which makes the car look like a present with boos and trimmings attached (fitting huh?). During this drive she is typically dolled up looking her best in a beautiful gown.
Wedding Day!
I have not attended an actual wedding yet but form what I am told it is a BIG to do. Weddings are usually held during the week, on a Tuesday or Wednesday evening and is at a big restaurant. It lasts for hours with dancing and eating prevalent throughout the night. Family, including those of the diaspora*, and friends come from near and far to celebrate the new start of the family. To let people know the wedding is coming the family will continuously play music at the house from 3 days before the wedding to three days after the wedding (Music is a big celebratory thing here). During the reception, the couple dances to the traditional wedding song and the dancing goes on for hours.
Wedding season is an amazing and busy time in Kosovo that can not be fully described but really should just be experienced. With so many weddings occurring every week you are bound to be invited to no LESS than one a summer (and that's being generous in the minimum). Here are some photos from the Kanagjegj I attended with my host sister, brother and host Mother!
Host mama and I.
Recent Bride in Traditional wedding attire
Nafi and I
Recent brides and the Bride to be in the middle
Ready for dancing!
Albanian Circle dance!
Bride and Groom dancing
Another traditional wedding outfit.
Her henna dress - my favorite!
During the Henna ceremony.
Singing about the Groom's family.
Dancing after the ceremony!
My family and I!
Mama and her qikas (chicas)!
Preparing to take the bride to her groom's house.
Happy Wedding Season!
____________________________________________________________________________________
*Diaspora refers to the family members who are abroad but are Kosovar Albanian. After the conflict/war in the 90's many left in search of safe havens and work in countries such as Switzerland, Germany, Belgium, Canada and the U.S. They typically return to visit family in July-August, during wedding season, and help bolster the Kosovar economy with an influx of money during this time. They also support relatives in country throughout the year with allowances etc.
Friday, July 10, 2015
My Aunties Asked *Special Edition* / Q & A
So I have a huge family, who are always asking ALL these questions in regard to my service. Now, don't get me wrong, I love that they are all so enthusiastic and want to vicriously live through me / want to be all up in my business (yes, I said it LOL) but the questions, which most others may ask as well, are repetitive and its a little exhausting answering the same question. So in honor of my aunties they get a *special edition* aka CIA detective question/answer post about the ins and outs of my life here in Kosovo per our group chat anf questions/statements presented there...
Question 1: How is your new Host family
- : My new host family is BIG! I have a cousin getting married next week and I (unfortunately) can not attend the wedding due to class *insert angry face emoji here*. There are 4 people in my family, my Host parents, and their two children - a boy aged 16 and a girl aged 14.
Question 2: Do you have your own room
- Yes, I do. It is a Peace corps mandate that you receive your own room/space and it have a lock and that the family provide you with a key, as well as other safety measures that must be abided by to be considered as a host family.
Question 3: Did you get to see your future school
- No, I didn't. My director (principal) is on vacation so I wont be able to visit the site until I am at my site for good.
Question 4: who attends the school?
- I am at an elementary school and will be teaching grade levels 3-9 as of right now. My host sister will be taught by me for one year and after this year will go onto high school and wont be with me.
Statement 1 - I think it is time for a new blog entry
- Apparently, Auntie, I couldn't agree more (hence why you are reading this ;)
Question 5: Who speaks English
- Unlike my current host family where my host sister/PIC (partner in crime) speaks English, pretty much ... EVERYONE (shocker I know!) speaks English or can at least understand it in my next host family.
Question 6: Do you have chores?
- It depends, we have to iron out how they would like me to assist and what role I will have in house duties. As a volunteer you are considered as part of the family and therefore would be treated as such. I will more than likely assist with cleaning and cooking/serving as that's what the women do int he household.
Question 7: Why doesn't my host mom know how to speak English?
- Well I cant quite answer that as we have yet to get that in depth with each other. However, she can understand English so It will be interesting her helping me with my Shqip, and I with her English, along with other family members.
Question 8: Are you going to be able to see other PCV (Peace Corps Volunteers)?
- YES! We all can meet up after the first three months in our service. There are about 5 or 6 volunteers that will be near me from my group and I think about 4 from K1, Kosova, I hope you are ready!
Question 9: How far are PCV from you?
- There is one Volunteer about 15mins away, and other volunteers are spread throughout the country. There are some 15ish volunteers in a 80km radius of me so its very encouraging and we can see each other fairly easily by bus.
Statement 2: Don't miss any questions now ok?!
- ... Trying my best hahaha
Question 10: When do you officially move to your site?
- I move to site after we swear-in. Until you swear in, you are considered a PCT (Peace Corps Trainee). PST (Pre-Service Training) lasts about 2-3 months dependent upon the country. During PST you are in language classes 6 days a week and 5 days a week you have policy classes and activities, as well as some day trips to visit different areas within the country.
Thank you Ladies for the questions, and let me know if anyone else has any questions/topics you would like me to post about... Below are new photos for your entertainment.
Diten e Mire!
Question 1: How is your new Host family
- : My new host family is BIG! I have a cousin getting married next week and I (unfortunately) can not attend the wedding due to class *insert angry face emoji here*. There are 4 people in my family, my Host parents, and their two children - a boy aged 16 and a girl aged 14.
Question 2: Do you have your own room
- Yes, I do. It is a Peace corps mandate that you receive your own room/space and it have a lock and that the family provide you with a key, as well as other safety measures that must be abided by to be considered as a host family.
Question 3: Did you get to see your future school
- No, I didn't. My director (principal) is on vacation so I wont be able to visit the site until I am at my site for good.
Question 4: who attends the school?
- I am at an elementary school and will be teaching grade levels 3-9 as of right now. My host sister will be taught by me for one year and after this year will go onto high school and wont be with me.
Statement 1 - I think it is time for a new blog entry
- Apparently, Auntie, I couldn't agree more (hence why you are reading this ;)
Question 5: Who speaks English
- Unlike my current host family where my host sister/PIC (partner in crime) speaks English, pretty much ... EVERYONE (shocker I know!) speaks English or can at least understand it in my next host family.
Question 6: Do you have chores?
- It depends, we have to iron out how they would like me to assist and what role I will have in house duties. As a volunteer you are considered as part of the family and therefore would be treated as such. I will more than likely assist with cleaning and cooking/serving as that's what the women do int he household.
Question 7: Why doesn't my host mom know how to speak English?
- Well I cant quite answer that as we have yet to get that in depth with each other. However, she can understand English so It will be interesting her helping me with my Shqip, and I with her English, along with other family members.
Question 8: Are you going to be able to see other PCV (Peace Corps Volunteers)?
- YES! We all can meet up after the first three months in our service. There are about 5 or 6 volunteers that will be near me from my group and I think about 4 from K1, Kosova, I hope you are ready!
Question 9: How far are PCV from you?
- There is one Volunteer about 15mins away, and other volunteers are spread throughout the country. There are some 15ish volunteers in a 80km radius of me so its very encouraging and we can see each other fairly easily by bus.
Statement 2: Don't miss any questions now ok?!
- ... Trying my best hahaha
Question 10: When do you officially move to your site?
- I move to site after we swear-in. Until you swear in, you are considered a PCT (Peace Corps Trainee). PST (Pre-Service Training) lasts about 2-3 months dependent upon the country. During PST you are in language classes 6 days a week and 5 days a week you have policy classes and activities, as well as some day trips to visit different areas within the country.
Thank you Ladies for the questions, and let me know if anyone else has any questions/topics you would like me to post about... Below are new photos for your entertainment.
Some of the Ladies before we headed to the Ambassadors July 4th Soiree
My outfit for the Soiree
Some of our gents
View looking toward the mountains at my new place
Overlooking the town, Oh the beauty in nature
When we met the President the only picture I found of me.
The President and I
Looking at the mountains with cloudy skies
Apricot tree in front of my house
View from my families kitchen window.
Sunday, June 28, 2015
First Observations
In light of some recent observations we had to complete as part of training I figured I would share some cultural differences I have begun to identify and things we have discovered.
Gender Roles/Responsibilities:
There seem to be, at least in my current PST Site (I can not speak on my next site as of yet because the culture within Kosova is so different depending on where in the country you are), a firm set of roles and responsibilities for each gender. Men tend to be providers. They are economically responsible for the families well being and growth. In light of the unemployment faced here by many young men in Kosova, many families tend to be co-dependent and brothers/siblings will help each others family if they are facing difficulties. Women are the care-takers and homemakers. Older women tend to stay home, tend to children and raise them in a respectable manner. Some women do work, but there are limited opportunities in the country right now. Both males and females go to University, with English being a popular major among the youth and the potential opportunities associated with that degree/skill.
Men have the ability to be seen more in public. They frequent the cafe's and other establishments, some of which are "Male-only''. Even some cafe's are male only; it is definitely an interesting thing to look at, considering the café in my town, while not Male-only, you wont find any women there besides myself and two other female volunteers. Women more so stay in house except for their nightly group walks. They visit house to house and aren't typically seen outside, especially alone.
Dating:
When I asked different people about dating here, it was made clear it is unlike the US where we date around to find likes, dislikes, or just for fun. Here you date with the intent of marrying. That is not to say casual dating is non-existent, I just have not come across it personally. Those that are unmarried, tend to stay in the families home and assist the matriarch in household duties (if female) Males tend to work if they have a job and contribute to providing for the family. Additionally, dating is not done overtly. It is usually secretive and more so for women than men. Here a women's name still has a lot of weight and those who may be deemed promiscuous are not seen favorably for marriage. The "PDA" typical of American society is not prevalent here. Hand holding is pretty much the most you will see in public, but even in private their isn't much of the "lovey-dovey" interaction between, those dating and those in marriages. The interesting note on the previous remark is that men are very much affectionate with each other here, and to an American man may put him off, but the hugs and thigh grabs here are very much acceptable amongst men. I was a little thrown off when I was told it is also the norm for women here to be married before 21 and that is typical. It is also commonplace for parents to reject a marriage and have women choose between their family and their spouse, where if they choose the latter their familial ties with whichever dissenting parties are cut. Additionally, women who may leave their husbands for whatever reason are considered/called widowed and it is more acceptable for them to marry someone previously married rather than someone who has not been married before.
Social Interactions:
In social interactions the genders are still fairly separated. Women go to the restaurant or café with other females unless they are with family members. When my fellow trainees and I go to the café, we are mixed males and females, which is not typical here and then add in our loud American accents and the people of Kosova are staring interested in the current "American show" taking place- hahaha! I recently went to a disco here and even that was different from the US. There was virtually no dancing except for my host sister, cousin and I and even then we two-stepped all night. There was no dancing between men and women (from what I saw) and if there was dancing it was a side to side sway on the part of women. The men tended to look around, watch the ladies and interact amongst themselves. Even when men may find you attractive their isn't any of the hand grabbing or touching of a female as is typical in the US. Here you may get a wow, or bukerie (beautiful) thrown into the air but that's typically the end of it. (insert gasps from women across the US here lol)
These are just some observations/experiences I have had/seen specifically. This should not be considered to be commonplace in all of Kosovo, but it is what I have observed in my current area.
Gender Roles/Responsibilities:
There seem to be, at least in my current PST Site (I can not speak on my next site as of yet because the culture within Kosova is so different depending on where in the country you are), a firm set of roles and responsibilities for each gender. Men tend to be providers. They are economically responsible for the families well being and growth. In light of the unemployment faced here by many young men in Kosova, many families tend to be co-dependent and brothers/siblings will help each others family if they are facing difficulties. Women are the care-takers and homemakers. Older women tend to stay home, tend to children and raise them in a respectable manner. Some women do work, but there are limited opportunities in the country right now. Both males and females go to University, with English being a popular major among the youth and the potential opportunities associated with that degree/skill.
Men have the ability to be seen more in public. They frequent the cafe's and other establishments, some of which are "Male-only''. Even some cafe's are male only; it is definitely an interesting thing to look at, considering the café in my town, while not Male-only, you wont find any women there besides myself and two other female volunteers. Women more so stay in house except for their nightly group walks. They visit house to house and aren't typically seen outside, especially alone.
Dating:
When I asked different people about dating here, it was made clear it is unlike the US where we date around to find likes, dislikes, or just for fun. Here you date with the intent of marrying. That is not to say casual dating is non-existent, I just have not come across it personally. Those that are unmarried, tend to stay in the families home and assist the matriarch in household duties (if female) Males tend to work if they have a job and contribute to providing for the family. Additionally, dating is not done overtly. It is usually secretive and more so for women than men. Here a women's name still has a lot of weight and those who may be deemed promiscuous are not seen favorably for marriage. The "PDA" typical of American society is not prevalent here. Hand holding is pretty much the most you will see in public, but even in private their isn't much of the "lovey-dovey" interaction between, those dating and those in marriages. The interesting note on the previous remark is that men are very much affectionate with each other here, and to an American man may put him off, but the hugs and thigh grabs here are very much acceptable amongst men. I was a little thrown off when I was told it is also the norm for women here to be married before 21 and that is typical. It is also commonplace for parents to reject a marriage and have women choose between their family and their spouse, where if they choose the latter their familial ties with whichever dissenting parties are cut. Additionally, women who may leave their husbands for whatever reason are considered/called widowed and it is more acceptable for them to marry someone previously married rather than someone who has not been married before.
Social Interactions:
In social interactions the genders are still fairly separated. Women go to the restaurant or café with other females unless they are with family members. When my fellow trainees and I go to the café, we are mixed males and females, which is not typical here and then add in our loud American accents and the people of Kosova are staring interested in the current "American show" taking place- hahaha! I recently went to a disco here and even that was different from the US. There was virtually no dancing except for my host sister, cousin and I and even then we two-stepped all night. There was no dancing between men and women (from what I saw) and if there was dancing it was a side to side sway on the part of women. The men tended to look around, watch the ladies and interact amongst themselves. Even when men may find you attractive their isn't any of the hand grabbing or touching of a female as is typical in the US. Here you may get a wow, or bukerie (beautiful) thrown into the air but that's typically the end of it. (insert gasps from women across the US here lol)
These are just some observations/experiences I have had/seen specifically. This should not be considered to be commonplace in all of Kosovo, but it is what I have observed in my current area.
Tuesday, June 23, 2015
Pictures, Pictures, PICTURES
I realized I have a couple of posts, but no pictures. Below are some pictures of people, places and just life in Kosovo thus far! PSA: It will be about 30 pictures with titles... Hope you Enjoy!
My Host sister Nafi!
The view from our Hub Site for classes - Jealous yet ;)
Novo Brdo - Castle remnants from Cesar's Era...
View from my window - The Barn (we have 5 cows)
View from my window - looking past the Barn (5km away, over the mountain- that's SERBIA!)
View from my room - The school (shkolla) where I have classes
Our BBQ near the "waterfall" in town
We hiked to have a bbq and this "grotto" was our resting spot
The view of my village from the top of the mountain we hiked up.
Another view of my beautiful village :)
Nafi, Qen and I showing our "LOVE" before a late night Coffee
Outside the Prishtina Airport
PCV Brittany with the new Trainees!
One view of Gjilan from out Hotel
All 37 Trainees/ Future Volunteers
Some trainees and the US Ambassdor to Kosova - Ambassador Jacobson
Tri-State Area trainees
My host parents and I
Notes on my door that greeted me, and still do <3
Life size Chessboard in town
A Memorial in my village to some men who passed during the War
Family making traditional dish - Flija
My host taking sneak pictures during our game of volleyball while making Flija
I made FLIJA!!
Our group map of our town - "sponsored" by Lady Gaga
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)