Bajramit i Dyte

     Per Hajr Bajramit! Happy Bajram. The end to the holiest month in the Islamic Calendar, Ramdan, Bajram is a huge fest for Muslims all across the world. This year I am officially at my permanent site and celebrated Eid-al-Fitr with my entire host family. The process of preparing for Bajram begins days earlier with the baking of cakes, buying of treats and a THOROUGH cleaning, washing and preparation of each house for guests.
    This year Bajram was a little different for me because I (attempted to) fast. Now let me add my disclaimer here where I say the INTENT was the whole month of Ramadan, HOWEVER, the inner foodie in me and the fact that I was traveling changed those plans. I did however fast for about 8 days. Add to the fact that for the first 3/4 days my host father would ask me every morning if I was still fasting, to which I replied yes - I assume he thought I wouldn't make it past day one, so I would say that I did pretty darn good :) When fasting the "rules" are no food or drinking during daylight hours, and you can eat and drink from sundown and until before sunrise which ranged everyday from various minutes between 3:10-3:30am. As someone who had never fasted in this manner before, I spent the first 2-3 days drinking small amounts of water throughout the day to ease my body into fasting (at the recommendation of some Muslim friends). After which I complied fully to the rules and abstained from food and drinking during daylight hours. When friends, family and people in my community learned that I was fasting the response was usually the same. First a gasp and people asking "Really, you're fasting? Why?" followed by, pure excitement and encouragement for attempting to experience their culture. I told my students and it was ALL the rage to where the next morning in school my students were THOROUGHLY informed of my decision. When my host grandmother learned I was fasting I was met with lots of hand grabbing, smiles and shume mire's (oh, and the news QUICKLY spread throughout the family and to any bystander of my fasting). Though I only fasted for a week I truly came to appreciate a variety of things and learned some things as well.
     First thing I learned is I have a lot of self restraint. Having to be around people who are eating and drinking while you are not is hard, even harder when you're a self-proclaimed foodie and the smell of Laknire goes wafting through the air, but you enter this kick-ass mental state of blocking out such actions and learning to talk to your body (or at least I did). To my surprise, the first few days were easiest and the longer I fasted the harder it became - NO one warned me of this. You become very aware of your body and you are extremely fatigued while fasting. When Bajram began, school was still in session so I would wake up, go to work come home and nap, depending on the day it was 1.5-3 hours at a time (and you're STILL tired after so it is truly exhausting on your body) then I'd go and socialize with family until it was time for Iftar (the breaking of the fast).
     The second thing I learned is you have to really dive into trying new things to gain appreciation. I remember as a kid when Lent (the holy time for Christians where we prepare for the resurrection of Jesus Christ) would come and I would hate having to choose something to give up. Fast forward to now and I appreciate this time so much more. Fasting made me realize how I want to be a better volunteer, Christian and be a better version of myself. I have recently been on an in-depth self evaluation and doing the fast revealed a variety of things and helped me to delve deeper into myself and my mindset. While doing self evaluation I also reflected on my service and saw opportunities for growth and made realizations as well.
     Third realization is that I have become closer to my Muslim friends and we had discussions about their religion and it gave me a deeper understanding and respect for who they are and what they believe. I have never been one to shy away from learning about religions, but this experience has caused me to be more explorative in my own religion as well as that of others. I wish people would take the time to really see how you can learn and grow from other religions instead of using this difference to segregate and vilify each other. Their is beauty in the differences, as well as the similarities. To group a religion together because you lack understanding or contact creates the environment for ignorant comments, ideas and personifications to occur. So I implore people to do their research, talk to someone and just accept those differences and promote peace. You would be surprised what you learn about them and yourself ;-){Sorry, rant done.}
     The holy month of Ramadan brings together all Muslims to reflect, recenter and rededicate themselves to their faith. Being blessed with the opportunity to share in such an experience has given me more perspectives and respect for this culture. Below are some photos during Bajram from my time with my family and again Happy Bajram to all my Muslim friends!

 Attempting to get my host sis to take a picture with me

 Brunch is served! 

 Family siting around talking, enjoying each others company

 "My girls" and I 

 Family at my Host Aunt's house

 Host mama and my host aunt (#besties)

 Host Mom pressing out the Rollal

Even my host brother helped out, crushing Biscuits! :)

Typical dessert plate served at every house you visit! (from R-L: Rollal {Which I helped make}, Bakllava, mini Rollal without filling and Torta) 

Until Next Time

 - Ashley

Pushim Fever

Having recently returned from my spring break I felt a strong desire to share my experiences and travel pictures. For break, I traveled to Thessaloniki, Greece and Belgrade, Serbia. Both locations offered something completely different and provided me with a small glimpse into the benefits of my Peace Corps experience thus far and a greater appreciation for living abroad.

Greece’s second largest city and so called Gastronomical capital, Thessaloniki is a university town with a rich multicultural and ethnic makeup. We arrived to Greece and were surprised by the look of the city. We imagined those pretty postcard pictures we saw online describing Thessaloniki (Thess as it is called among us volunteers) and were greeted with a mix between central and western European scenery. Many buildings, much graffiti and recognizable store brands greeted us after spending hours driving through plush (beautiful and CLEAN) green space. We both looked at each other a little confused suggesting we couldn’t be in the correct location, but we were. What greeted us was similar to what you would see in America before you enter a downtown area – the “less desirable” areas of a city. However once we walked further toward the city center the views changed and a bustling city full of cafes, lots of shopping (YAY) and beautiful people. Thess is not a stereotypical Greek city, it is more European in style the islands and areas further south, this is my guess, is where you will find that Greek experience. We stayed in a downtown apartment close to the sites and shopping areas. We spent the first day at the mall, saw a movie and sat a small music bar. Throughout the rest of our 4 days in Thess we indulged in sweets, seafood, Greek foods, lots of walking and enjoying the views, sounds and breeze that was Thessaloniki. It was very surprising in Greece that an overwhelming majority of people spoke English and quite well at that. Coming from a country where many do not it was surprising to expect English form various merchants, wait staff and people on the street.

While traveling into and out of Greece we saw a UNHCR refugee camp near the Greek border. Rows and rows of tents, and a big banner stating this was a refugee camp. The crisis going on in western Asian and North African countries has a true impact – on people. They aren’t just refugees, illegal immigrants, and displaced people. They are HUMANS! There were also HUMANS sleeping in a public park near the Belgrade bus station. It was heart breaking to see brown women, men and children stranded. Stuck in a state of unwavering not knowing what happens next and nowhere to go. So I urge everyone to not let these victims to become stigmatized in your mind as law-breaking, moral-less, resource hungry or even terrorists. They are everyday women children and men escaping a situation in which they have been targeted and are simply looking for peace and security. I plan on trying to do something to do my part in supporting my fellow brothers and sisters, as should you.

When we departed from Thessaloniki, we had a 12-hour day of travel to get to Belgrade, capital city of Serbia. We traveled from Thessaloniki, to Skopje – had a 1 hour layover, then Skopje to Nis, Serbia – switched buses and went from Nis to Belgrade. Because of border disputes with Serbia and their lack of recognition for Kosovo’s independence one cannot travel thru Kosovo to Serbia but must go around through Macedonia.

We spent two days in Belgrade, the first we spent just enjoying walking around and going to the Lake there where we just laid on the rocky “beach” and stood in the water – as it was too cold to enter. We also did a bar crawl which ended at a house bar which gave us a sample of the nightlife in Belgrade – it was packed on a Thursday night and people were ENTERING the space at 3am, when we were leaving. Belgrade is known in Europe to have one of the best nightlife experiences, especially in the summer, when we were told we need to return, to experience the boat clubs they have that will allow you to experience a Serbian Sunrise on the banks of the Danube or Sava river (both of which wind their way around the city) and where you won’t dock until 7am. The second day we did a free walking tour where we saw various sites around the city and were given an early morning shot of Rakia in traditional Balkan style. We also visited the Serbian /national Bank where you can take a few free look at the museum and have your picture taken and placed on Serbian Dinar (complimentary also). We ended our last day with McDonalds (Way to be American – but to our defense: 1- I find McDonalds abroad more delicious {I don’t eat them in the states} and 2- we have no chain fast food in Kosovo, only doners).

Somethings I found very interesting about Spring break were the politics still occurring between Serbs and Albanians. On one government building we saw signs referring to the Kosovo Liberation Army and western multi-state organizations and their dislike of them. We also got a small insight into the views Serbians have of Kosovo and the effects the conflict (or lack thereof) had on them. It was very interesting that on the free walking tour we attended, the guide was a displaced Serbian from Kosovo. Because of the acts occurring in Kosovo during the late nineties her family migrated from Kosovo to Belgrade and she spoke briefly on that experience. She did mention though that she would like to return and visit her former home where she still has family members. These few chance encounters have definitely further peaked my interest to returning to Belgrade and other Serbian cities to experience their culture, people and hear their stories.  Other things learned were the appreciation I now have for knowing a language, even if basic, in Kosovo. It was frustrating not really knowing how to communicate to Greeks and Serbians in their native tongues and I felt bad not knowing even some greetings – BUT I now have that down. I feel one should know at least basic greetings in the native tongue for whatever destination you are visiting as a sign of respect and appreciation. Secondly, I am grateful and proud of the progress I have made in Albanian (think I’ve said this before – Oh well) . I don’t feel (as) lost or uncomfortable, but on the flipside not knowing the language made the yearning for anonymity to return. In Kosovo, as a PCV, I have no anonymity and I know what people around me are conversing about, usually me if I am in their presence in public, and it definitely takes a mental and emotional toll to always prepare yourself to mentally get aggravated with people constantly talking or inquiring about you yet not to you (Albanian culture isn’t direct like American culture). Also, I am a planner but I have learned how to go with the flow more (I’m sure my parents and friends will appreciate that when I return).

My travels have opened desires to further explore this melting pot called the Balkans and see what other adventures are out there for me to experience. I will definitely say the two cities I visited were never on my list, but now I have added even more locations to an ever growing travel list that would have never made it unless I would have been serving here in Kosovo so Cheers, Gezuar (Albnian), Ziveli (Serbian) and Stin yeia mas (Greek) to more travel destinations and learning experiences!

 Greece Pictures

 Boardwalk in Thessaloniki

 

White Tower

 Sitting on the Boardwalk

 Thessaloniki street

Ruins in the city center

 

Old Market stalls

Greek Tavernas

 Street View

 Arch of Galerius

Rotunda

 

 View from the Monastery

Belgrade Photos

Bohemian street

 

 Bakjrali Mosque

Belgrade Street View

 Entrance to Belgrade Fortress

 View looking toward the Danube and Sava rivers that meet in Belgrade

Looking toward the city from the Fortress

 

Sava River

 National Theatre

 Sign on a government building accusing Kosovo Liberation Army and NATO of wrongdoings.

- Ashley

Passion... Or was that Purpose?

What do you want out of life?  (Persistent life question)

I was recently talking to a friend and discussing purpose and passion. What do you want? What do you enjoy? What is your God ordained purpose and gift to your fellow humans? Some people spend a lifetime searching for their purpose, their passion, their “meaning”. 27 months of a nontraditional lifestyle provides lots of time to sit and ponder anything your mind can fathom. As many 20-somethings I have had the dreaded “What will I do with my life question?”. Unlike some people, my life has usually been consistent and I’ve (usually) had a game plan. This is the first time in my life I have the “what next” question. I’ve only had 3 career choices my entire life, up until this point. First was a lawyer (I loved to argue and politics – then I found I didn’t want to compromise my morals), then a teacher (passionate about children and education, also building upon my love of social studies) and up until now working in the Foreign Service (first hand experiences with “social studies topics” and travel- best of both worlds). Now, after experiencing teaching and some of my passions, I have a little debacle. What will my next step be and ultimately, what is my purpose. Before heading out on my Peace Corps service, I had started the search for my purpose. I knew what things I liked and gravitated towards, but I hadn’t quite figured out my purpose. That, or I am looking too much into figuring it out – I am an analytical person, so I like thinking, and thinking, and thinking some more about things. I have many ideas of things I would like to do but I don’t know if I am supposed to be doing them or simply they are ideas… My friend got me thinking, which caused me to write in my journal and led to this blog, and it is just a general question – What is the best way to find your purpose. First I say let’s distinguish passion from purpose as many get them confused, yet they are intertwined.

Purpose (as defined by Merriam Webster) - the reason why something is done or used: the aim or intention of something: the feeling of being determined to do or achieve something: the aim or goal of a person: what a person is trying to do, become, etc

Passion (as defined by Merriam Webster Dictionary) - a strong feeling of enthusiasm or excitement for something or about doing something : a strong feeling (such as anger) that causes you to act in a dangerous way

Many people believe that their purpose has to be their profession. Wrong (my opinion). You can have passion for something and that be your job and your side hustle is your real purpose. Passion simply means you will gain enjoyment from it. In some cases, something you are good at (purpose) isn’t as inspiring as your passion, but (in my opinion) as long as you are executing both, you are providing something of value to this world. Personally, I want something fulfilling and something that I am ordained to do. That when I do it, I get that certain glow, you see why I do what I do and that there are lives being touched form my work. My Peace Corps work gives me a certain level of satisfaction from time to time, however, I want more for myself, and my abilities. I have experienced moments where outsiders see more in me at times, than I do in myself. Sometimes that is necessary, but at the end of the day you should always see the most and the best in yourself. Those outside parties 1- may not be there to provide a push that has been placed inside you, or 2-may revert to a “nay-sayer” and try to dissuade you from accomplishing something massive/impactful in the lives of others. I want to be that woman who 1- breaks down barriers, 2- creates a pathway for others and 3- leaves a sustainable (Peace corps word #1) impact in this world.

So how does one find their purpose? I honestly don’t know. Some stumble upon it by a chance encounter. Others know from a young age. The majority, I think, develop into it. You find that you have something that you keep being drawn to and that is what you grow and develop in.

My quest in my two years in Kosovo, in addition to my Peace Corps duties, are to learn the most about myself and define my life’s purpose at this point. The ideal situation for me is to leave my Peace Corps Service with a defined idea of my future or, at least, my next steps. I believe my Peace Corps experience is setting me up for my future. All of the thinking has just allowed me to better develop a mindset and sense of direction I wouldn’t have been able to get in the United States. My suggestion for those still on their “purpose quest” is to focus inward. Don’t be afraid to be “selfish” and figure out the inner workings of yourself. Not only for your purpose, but just so you can fully develop into the man/woman you are meant to be and take your realized talents to progressive levels.
Let's take this progressive journey together... until the path of purposefulness is found, shihemi se shpejti (See you soon).

 

Love,

Ashley <3