A Year in Kosovo!

On June 7, 2015 I arrived on Kosovar soil, and it has been a crazy, growing, exciting, interesting year. When I arrived in Kosovo, I would have never guessed that I would experience and participate in such a variety of things. Being here has definitely stretched me as a person, and provided me with new realizations, viewpoints, friends and perspectives. Add to the fact that our new group has finally arrived, I feel it important to list some growing points/accomplishments which have occurred thus far in my service.

Growing Points

1. Expect the Unexpected
• During my Training and my first year of service there were many events and happenings that were, and still are, out of my control. As someone who loves to be in control, I can be honest about it :) , adjusting to this Peace Corps lifestyle ha(s)d its hard moments however, there is beauty and strength that arises from not always being in control of things. I am not submitting the idea that its an easy transition, or an enjoyable one; rather I am saying it is one that shows your true character and causes you to pause and think about you, your reactions and your actions.
2. Learning a new Culture
• Being immersed in a new culture where you live with families is something beautiful and stressful. If you are a highly independent person this can cause you to feel stressed and annoyed sometimes however, those moments get outweighed by family gatherings, correctly done cultural moments, feeling included and many other things. Don't be dismayed if even a year and some change in you still commit cultural faux-pas because everything is a learning experience, Right? I say that to say, no matter how long or how much you think you know, unless born into these societies there will always be something to learn, and something new to experience. Just go along for the ride and ask for lots of forgiveness
3.  Becoming comfortable with standing out
• This point is something which I am still dealing with. As a minority in this country, I receive a lot of attention, especially unwanted attention. When I first started my service, everyday was a battle ground of emotions - majority negative- when it came to how people received and perceived me in this country. I am and have learned that the only thing I can control is my response and how I do or do not allow these people to effect my personal peace and sanity. Not everyone means it in a malicious manner, I have encountered those who have meant it that way, but most intent boils down to curiosity or ignorance. Curiosity can stem from my complexion, my hair, (as I have been told) my beauty, my gender, nationality and a variety of other factors. Other times it has been from the idea of what is portrayed on television is taken as fact/truth and I must react accordingly. It is hard to be perceived and defined and received by such a skewed outlook but that is part of the reason I decided to join the Peace Corps (though I didn't realize just how hard the role of "change agent" would be).
4. Lack of Understanding
• This extends beyond just HCN (host country national) to PCV (Peace Corps Volunteer). This includes staff, volunteers, friends and family stateside and so many people in-between. Lack of understanding goes for expressions, responses, culture, food, people, actions etc. The nuances which define each person individually and in the larger social/cultural context. You have to be willing to put biases, prejudices, rejections to the side to continuously strive for understanding and tolerance.
5. Being Open
• Personally, I still deal with this growth point because I, for some time during my service, had developed a shell towards the people in my host country because of the reception I received, I no longer wanted to be hurt or feel uncomfortable, so I developed a demeanor and standard reactions/practices to counter what I was experiencing. I am currently working on reworking those actions and being more open because I do not want the actions of the few to define the many. It is a lot harder than it sounds, and demands an active mental, physical and emotional consciousness to counteract my pre-programmed response. Doing this "revamp" (which can in part be attributed to the ICD&I conference I attended -  here is the link for that post) helped me to realize that I needed to make that change and be open to my community again.

Accomplishments

1. Learning a new language
•  I think I have said this before, but let me say it again - ALBANIAN IS HARD/DIFFICULT/ANNOYING/ is a Culturally Entrenched Language. I still feel like I am fighting an uphill battle, with moments of clarity and great talking and other times I forget the basics. IT happens! To everyone, but I can navigate within a foreign language and country. Ashley, you're a #boss
2. PenPals
• When asked what was the highlight of school for me, besides finishing the school year (1 week and 3 days left!) I would say successfully facilitating a pen-pal exchange with my seventh graders and Girl Scouts in America. The joy letters and Girl Scout cookies bring is amazing, and the fact that I was able to be the common thread between two cultures, people and traditions is an amazing accomplishment. Lets be honest though, Girl Scout cookies = LIFE! so its not hard to see how that was a happy moment.
3. Exposure
• The hardest part of my service, but also the most rewarding. When you can change someones outlook on a group of people by just existing (GASP! I know it happens though) is such a beautiful thing and feeling, though also makes you aware of just how much work is left to create equity and equality in our world.
4. Diversity training
• Having the honor to attend the diversity training helped me not only in my outlook of my service, but I know assisted staff and other volunteers in learning how to deal with a variety of differences and issues in country.
5. PSN Member
• PSN is a volunteer support network run by volunteers to help assist each other through the ins and outs of our Peace Corps service. 
6. Finding happy Moments 
• A long overdue laugh, a hug, attending a powerful event, being invited somewhere. All of these things, though seemingly minuscule, can really have the most positive of effects on a volunteers outlook and mood. So making and being actively involved in these happy moments make life as a PCV that much more enjoyable.
7. Surviving
• I survived winter, summer, spring and fall in Kosovo! Through ups, downs and round-a-bouts WE (family, friends, supports, volunteers and staff) have made it a year together. So cheers to approximately 12 months down and 14 more months of the continuous growing experience that is my Peace Corps Service. Also thank you to everyone supporting me from home, those known and unknown and for reading my blog! Hope you get just a taste and are enjoying all the winding road with me.

Gezuar!

 - Ashley <3 

"It's not about what I can get, it's about what I can give." - Marie Forleo