Monday, April 11, 2016

Pushim Fever



Having recently returned from my spring break I felt a strong desire to share my experiences and travel pictures. For break, I traveled to Thessaloniki, Greece and Belgrade, Serbia. Both locations offered something completely different and provided me with a small glimpse into the benefits of my Peace Corps experience thus far and a greater appreciation for living abroad.
Greece’s second largest city and so called Gastronomical capital, Thessaloniki is a university town with a rich multicultural and ethnic makeup. We arrived to Greece and were surprised by the look of the city. We imagined those pretty postcard pictures we saw online describing Thessaloniki (Thess as it is called among us volunteers) and were greeted with a mix between central and western European scenery. Many buildings, much graffiti and recognizable store brands greeted us after spending hours driving through plush (beautiful and CLEAN) green space. We both looked at each other a little confused suggesting we couldn’t be in the correct location, but we were. What greeted us was similar to what you would see in America before you enter a downtown area – the “less desirable” areas of a city. However once we walked further toward the city center the views changed and a bustling city full of cafes, lots of shopping (YAY) and beautiful people. Thess is not a stereotypical Greek city, it is more European in style the islands and areas further south, this is my guess, is where you will find that Greek experience. We stayed in a downtown apartment close to the sites and shopping areas. We spent the first day at the mall, saw a movie and sat a small music bar. Throughout the rest of our 4 days in Thess we indulged in sweets, seafood, Greek foods, lots of walking and enjoying the views, sounds and breeze that was Thessaloniki. It was very surprising in Greece that an overwhelming majority of people spoke English and quite well at that. Coming from a country where many do not it was surprising to expect English form various merchants, wait staff and people on the street.
While traveling into and out of Greece we saw a UNHCR refugee camp near the Greek border. Rows and rows of tents, and a big banner stating this was a refugee camp. The crisis going on in western Asian and North African countries has a true impact – on people. They aren’t just refugees, illegal immigrants, and displaced people. They are HUMANS! There were also HUMANS sleeping in a public park near the Belgrade bus station. It was heart breaking to see brown women, men and children stranded. Stuck in a state of unwavering not knowing what happens next and nowhere to go. So I urge everyone to not let these victims to become stigmatized in your mind as law-breaking, moral-less, resource hungry or even terrorists. They are everyday women children and men escaping a situation in which they have been targeted and are simply looking for peace and security. I plan on trying to do something to do my part in supporting my fellow brothers and sisters, as should you.
When we departed from Thessaloniki, we had a 12-hour day of travel to get to Belgrade, capital city of Serbia. We traveled from Thessaloniki, to Skopje – had a 1 hour layover, then Skopje to Nis, Serbia – switched buses and went from Nis to Belgrade. Because of border disputes with Serbia and their lack of recognition for Kosovo’s independence one cannot travel thru Kosovo to Serbia but must go around through Macedonia.

We spent two days in Belgrade, the first we spent just enjoying walking around and going to the Lake there where we just laid on the rocky “beach” and stood in the water – as it was too cold to enter. We also did a bar crawl which ended at a house bar which gave us a sample of the nightlife in Belgrade – it was packed on a Thursday night and people were ENTERING the space at 3am, when we were leaving. Belgrade is known in Europe to have one of the best nightlife experiences, especially in the summer, when we were told we need to return, to experience the boat clubs they have that will allow you to experience a Serbian Sunrise on the banks of the Danube or Sava river (both of which wind their way around the city) and where you won’t dock until 7am. The second day we did a free walking tour where we saw various sites around the city and were given an early morning shot of Rakia in traditional Balkan style. We also visited the Serbian /national Bank where you can take a few free look at the museum and have your picture taken and placed on Serbian Dinar (complimentary also). We ended our last day with McDonalds (Way to be American – but to our defense: 1- I find McDonalds abroad more delicious {I don’t eat them in the states} and 2- we have no chain fast food in Kosovo, only doners).
Somethings I found very interesting about Spring break were the politics still occurring between Serbs and Albanians. On one government building we saw signs referring to the Kosovo Liberation Army and western multi-state organizations and their dislike of them. We also got a small insight into the views Serbians have of Kosovo and the effects the conflict (or lack thereof) had on them. It was very interesting that on the free walking tour we attended, the guide was a displaced Serbian from Kosovo. Because of the acts occurring in Kosovo during the late nineties her family migrated from Kosovo to Belgrade and she spoke briefly on that experience. She did mention though that she would like to return and visit her former home where she still has family members. These few chance encounters have definitely further peaked my interest to returning to Belgrade and other Serbian cities to experience their culture, people and hear their stories.  Other things learned were the appreciation I now have for knowing a language, even if basic, in Kosovo. It was frustrating not really knowing how to communicate to Greeks and Serbians in their native tongues and I felt bad not knowing even some greetings – BUT I now have that down. I feel one should know at least basic greetings in the native tongue for whatever destination you are visiting as a sign of respect and appreciation. Secondly, I am grateful and proud of the progress I have made in Albanian (think I’ve said this before – Oh well) . I don’t feel (as) lost or uncomfortable, but on the flipside not knowing the language made the yearning for anonymity to return. In Kosovo, as a PCV, I have no anonymity and I know what people around me are conversing about, usually me if I am in their presence in public, and it definitely takes a mental and emotional toll to always prepare yourself to mentally get aggravated with people constantly talking or inquiring about you yet not to you (Albanian culture isn’t direct like American culture). Also, I am a planner but I have learned how to go with the flow more (I’m sure my parents and friends will appreciate that when I return).
My travels have opened desires to further explore this melting pot called the Balkans and see what other adventures are out there for me to experience. I will definitely say the two cities I visited were never on my list, but now I have added even more locations to an ever growing travel list that would have never made it unless I would have been serving here in Kosovo so Cheers, Gezuar (Albnian), Ziveli (Serbian) and Stin yeia mas (Greek) to more travel destinations and learning experiences!
 Greece Pictures

 Boardwalk in Thessaloniki

White Tower

 Sitting on the Boardwalk

 Thessaloniki street

Ruins in the city center
 
Old Market stalls
Greek Tavernas
 Street View
 Arch of Galerius

Rotunda
 
 View from the Monastery

Belgrade Photos

Bohemian street
 
 Bakjrali Mosque

Belgrade Street View
 Entrance to Belgrade Fortress

 View looking toward the Danube and Sava rivers that meet in Belgrade

Looking toward the city from the Fortress
 
Sava River


 National Theatre


 Sign on a government building accusing Kosovo Liberation Army and NATO of wrongdoings.

- Ashley

Politics of Being Woman



“Worse than receiving actual harassment is the near-constant feeling of anticipation or expectation of harassment. It’s this feeling of being on guard at all times. This culture of fear has been created for me, and it makes me feel unsafe in my surroundings even when I’m not actively being harassed or bothered. I notice that I avoid eye contact with men when I am in public. I walk past groups of men with my eyes glued to the ground, hoping that if I don’t look up they won’t speak to me. I turn the volume up on my headphones, hoping to drown out any stray comments or whistles that may come my way. I’m alert and always aware of the person that’s approaching me or sitting next to me. I would consider this behavior paranoid, except that it’s continually proven to me that I have reason to be worried about being harassed.”[1]
- Britni de la Cretaz


These words by Britni de la Cretaz, when read struck a chord, as I am sure it has with many other women. We have all felt the emotions described above and at some point or continuously have thoughts of “please don’t look at me”, “Am I promoting harassment with my clothing?” or even “maybe I only look good if I am “hit on/harassed” by men. My service has provided me with more awareness to the over-sexualization and misogynistic tendencies men have toward women, especially women of color abroad. Firstly let me describe the previously mentioned terms:
Sexualize - make sexual; attribute sex or a sex role to
Misogynythe hatred or dislike of women or girls. Misogyny can be manifested in numerous ways, including sexual discrimination, hostility, male supremacist ideas, belittling of women, violence against women, and sexual objectification of women.
Harassment - unwelcome and inappropriate verbal or physical conduct, or coercive behavior, where the behavior is known or reasonably ought. to be known to be unwanted or welcome
These terms, especially lately, have been used to describe the position women hold in the minds of some men and the actions of said men. As a female I have been subjected to such catcalls, harassment and unwanted touching. During my service I have experienced moments where the shape of my body and having curves has made me feel embarrassed or uncomfortable due to comments by a range of men from elders down to thirteen and fourteen year old boys. They have made crude and inappropriate comments that have made me feel as if I was promoting promiscuity or dressing in a way that was socially deemed inappropriate (despite being clothed “appropriately” when these situations occurred). I am also aware that because of the globalization of hip-hop culture and cultural stereotypes of black and American women, I receive that much more interest as something “exotic and foreign”. Add on to that how women are portrayed in music videos and talked about in songs you have a setup for promoting women only being sexual beings for a man’s pleasure. I have heard stories from fellow female volunteers who have said they were outright propositioned for sex. Why this behavior is considered acceptable among men and boys boggles me. Why do we allow the future generation of men to regard women as sexual beings and shame/comment on their appearances when women express their sexuality in the same breath. I recently read an article which stated that over 30% of Kosovar women feel it is acceptable for men to verbally harass them, that it is NORMAL. A women’s desirability should not be placed on her sexuality, or lack thereof. The harassment I have encountered has made me more of a feminist and allowed me to realize that there is still so much that needs change in societies across the globe.

I know recently there have been big debates about comments and actions made by celebrities such as Kim Kardashian, Amber Rose and Ayesha Curry (to name a few) about what are acceptable actions and fashion for being a “respectable” woman. We all have our preferences, rather it be more or less modest on dressing and actions. My question is why, even as fellow women, do we demean each other for our actions. We are quick to call each other a hoe, prude slut without understanding we have the ability as well as the right to be multi-faceted, sexually aware beings. Say for instance, if I decide to dress conservatively during my 9-5 and then wear clothes which accentuate my womanly features; why am I demonized for loving, exploring and embracing all facets of myself? I won’t sit here and lie and say I haven’t been that person at some point who has questioned if not commented on another women’s wardrobe choice. However, I have come to the realization, no matter what a woman does or is, she shouldn’t be criticized, demonized and /or diminished to a single facet of herself which society deems it is acceptable for her to be. Every woman has a variety of selves and her most denied, yet desired being is her sexual self. Women should be encouraged and supported by each other to comfortably express all their “selves” and embrace how each creates the whole stunning, impressive, magical, mold shattering masterpiece each women is. 

     In connection with me service thus far, and my perception of Kosovar village society, women are expected to be show pieces. Only shown off with and for men, yet otherwise virtually unseen. I perceive it as the silencing of women’s experiences and struggles, literally and figuratively. It is interesting how women have tried to react against such circumstances. For example, I know a woman who has faced some “backlash” if you would call it for being a “modern woman” – working, married and successful. Some feel she is not doing her wifely duties because she is out working and doing something she loves. She assists with housework, serving and cooking when possible but most is done by her mother-in-law as it is tradition for new wives to move into her husband’s house, who usually still lives with his parents. Her wifely duties have also been commented on in terms of what it takes to keep her husband satisfied and how she is perceived to have “a lot of work to do” because he is a bigger man. Additionally, remarks were made referring to her wardrobe because as she is now married she should dress more “elegantly” instead of wearing what she does. Add on to that the constant reference to a woman’s weight and size, which I and countless other women (including the women formerly mentioned), have had referred to (you’re getting /are fat is a constant comment heard around Kosovo even if the woman is on the smaller size). Women are not good enough, pretty enough or small enough it seems. I have mentioned to a friend of mine how I am surprised more Albanian women don’t have eating/self-esteem disorders because of all the politics involving their physical appearances in this society. 

I just want to instill in my girls, that they are enough. No matter what society, family or even friends dictate, being themselves is enough. Embracing differences instead of creating flaws, loving every size and creating a culture of female acceptance and importance is what is needed. We need to de-stigmatize a woman who is completely self-aware and embrace that woman and all she offers. Women and men need to stand up and stand together against misogyny and promoting self-hate of women and learn to encourage love and support each other for who and what they are, what how they express their womanly experience.

“Every part of me is a vision of a portrait… of Mona Lisa, Every part of me is beautiful, And I finally see I'm a work of art, A masterpiece, And now I see the pretty colors on my canvas, I'm a work of art, a Mona Lisa, I'll share my picture with the world, Not afraid to let it show anymore”
Masterpiece – Jazmine Sullivan

- Ashley

Below are some links to short articles involving rape and sexual harassment culture in Kosovo